I thought this needed reposting, since, as per honshui, it rings so true.
The needling of the blog master in this strip reminded me of people I know. The response of the blog master seemed to close to a response that JD might have to said needling...
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Friday, June 16, 2006
National Review Online Saddles Up To The Nipple
A great many endeavours, artistic, charitable, and political, owe their survival to donations. Public television in both Canada and the U.S. benefits from individual and corporate donors to stay afloat. Hell, the CBC is one big donor-fed institution. Political parties all need donations to satiate the need for power. But through it all, one thing has been a comforting constant - the fiscal conservative's distaste for welfare in any form. "The free market" is trotted out as the ultimate litmus test of fitness. "Il faut tenir le coup" was what the Honourable~! Maurice Blanchard used to say about the language laws in Quebec. If you can't survive on your own, you deserve to die.
So here is the delicious part. The National Review Online is whoring for donations. The keepers of the flame of fiscal conservatism cannot survive in the free market. They are a "loss leader". They are the literary equivalent of that stupid plush toy that hangs on a rack next to the checkout at the A&P.
Those who live by the sword, die by the sword. Unless, to mix our metaphors, they are hoisted by their own petards for not being worth their salt.
So here is the delicious part. The National Review Online is whoring for donations. The keepers of the flame of fiscal conservatism cannot survive in the free market. They are a "loss leader". They are the literary equivalent of that stupid plush toy that hangs on a rack next to the checkout at the A&P.
Those who live by the sword, die by the sword. Unless, to mix our metaphors, they are hoisted by their own petards for not being worth their salt.
Ann Coulter and The Party of Death
Sweet lass that Ann Coulter. Now she thinks Rep. John Murtha is "The reason soldiers invented fragging"
Ahh, the dulcet tones of death threats.
Truly Ann has become the Hulk Hogan of the punditocracy. She has gone from money shill to someone who believes her own schtick. She is working herself and the marks at the same time. She absolutely slammed the 7'2" 500lb André in front of 93000 people, and she did sell-out Wembley Stadium when he wrestled for a little boy with cancer. Oh yeah, and Canada sent troops to Vietnam. And the moon is made of green cheese 'cause I said so.
Ahh, the dulcet tones of death threats.
Truly Ann has become the Hulk Hogan of the punditocracy. She has gone from money shill to someone who believes her own schtick. She is working herself and the marks at the same time. She absolutely slammed the 7'2" 500lb André in front of 93000 people, and she did sell-out Wembley Stadium when he wrestled for a little boy with cancer. Oh yeah, and Canada sent troops to Vietnam. And the moon is made of green cheese 'cause I said so.
Video Troubleshooting
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Mook De Jour
From the comments section over at Canadian Cynic's place we have this little gem from young Jonathan Strong:
I just want you liberals to admit that global warming is a THEORY rather than a fact.
I like to let the stupidity wash over me like a wave from a stygian sea. Makes me all giddy.
Hey Jonathan, ALL scientists would agree that it is a theory.
Our callow friend also wrote:
"its easy to name call and label people liars"
True, true, you make good point...what's that? Little Johnny then writes:
"Then again, liberalism shares many resemblances of a cult."
And another wave of stupid crashes on the shore of clueless.
I just want you liberals to admit that global warming is a THEORY rather than a fact.
I like to let the stupidity wash over me like a wave from a stygian sea. Makes me all giddy.
Hey Jonathan, ALL scientists would agree that it is a theory.
Our callow friend also wrote:
"its easy to name call and label people liars"
True, true, you make good point...what's that? Little Johnny then writes:
"Then again, liberalism shares many resemblances of a cult."
And another wave of stupid crashes on the shore of clueless.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Mooks and Paid Mooks
Did Jerry Rice not save his money? Or is he a just an attention grabber gone horribly wrong?
I will admit that I watched Pros vs Joes on Spike TV with a bit of vicarious delight. On the one hand I suffer from the usual male delusional problems regarding my skill level in EVERYTHING and my value to the world. On the other hand, I have competed in tennis, swimming, track, and football against national level athletes and future pros. They were comically better than my best efforts, and I didn't suck all that much (except for swimming, which is a ridiculous sport geared to people with no social skills: I mean, come on, you spend hours face down in the water! Only dead people spend more time in that position than swimmers!).
So with shaudenfreude in hand, I sat my now fat ass down to watch some mooks get pummeled. I wasn't disappointed. Well, I was. The skill tests were great - going head to head with Rice in pass catching; trying to match Jim McMahon in passsing accuracy; these are worthwhile tests.
But then it goes wrong. Pitting the 5'9" Joes agains the 6'9" Dennis Rodman in a test of rebounding is silly and invokes images of American Gladiators. Of course Rodman is going to win. Back in my failed high school basketball days, I spent hours going against guys a couple of inches taller; and unless you have big "ups" (which I didn't and neither did the Joes), you are going to lose, unless it becomes a wrestling match.
Speaking of wrestling; having the tiny Joes try to wrestle the smaller-than-he-was-but-still-huge Bill Goldberg was equally silly. Wrestle your nine-year old nephew for an example of how it went. Technical it ain't. Weight classes exist for a reason.
On a strange note, all the pros were really good at golf. Yet the Joes, who work for a living, were not as good. Curious. Someone should do a study.
I will admit that I watched Pros vs Joes on Spike TV with a bit of vicarious delight. On the one hand I suffer from the usual male delusional problems regarding my skill level in EVERYTHING and my value to the world. On the other hand, I have competed in tennis, swimming, track, and football against national level athletes and future pros. They were comically better than my best efforts, and I didn't suck all that much (except for swimming, which is a ridiculous sport geared to people with no social skills: I mean, come on, you spend hours face down in the water! Only dead people spend more time in that position than swimmers!).
So with shaudenfreude in hand, I sat my now fat ass down to watch some mooks get pummeled. I wasn't disappointed. Well, I was. The skill tests were great - going head to head with Rice in pass catching; trying to match Jim McMahon in passsing accuracy; these are worthwhile tests.
But then it goes wrong. Pitting the 5'9" Joes agains the 6'9" Dennis Rodman in a test of rebounding is silly and invokes images of American Gladiators. Of course Rodman is going to win. Back in my failed high school basketball days, I spent hours going against guys a couple of inches taller; and unless you have big "ups" (which I didn't and neither did the Joes), you are going to lose, unless it becomes a wrestling match.
Speaking of wrestling; having the tiny Joes try to wrestle the smaller-than-he-was-but-still-huge Bill Goldberg was equally silly. Wrestle your nine-year old nephew for an example of how it went. Technical it ain't. Weight classes exist for a reason.
On a strange note, all the pros were really good at golf. Yet the Joes, who work for a living, were not as good. Curious. Someone should do a study.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Ann Coulter on Leno Tonight
So I won't bother watching this one, but in case you are interested, apparently Ann Coulter is appearing on Leno tonight. George Carlin is on as well. I can't wait to hear Coulter's version of the Aristocrats joke.
It probably goes something like this:
Pitchman: I got a new act for your show.
Producer: What is it?
Pitchman: 5 9/11 widows come out on stage and support leftist policies and criticise the right wing president.
Producer: What do you call it?
Pitchman: The Aristocrats!
You may think that the joke is lame, but I think it accurately represents the sense of humor of someone who is far to the right! WHat if I add a "shwip shwee" to the punchline?
It probably goes something like this:
Pitchman: I got a new act for your show.
Producer: What is it?
Pitchman: 5 9/11 widows come out on stage and support leftist policies and criticise the right wing president.
Producer: What do you call it?
Pitchman: The Aristocrats!
You may think that the joke is lame, but I think it accurately represents the sense of humor of someone who is far to the right! WHat if I add a "shwip shwee" to the punchline?
Melissa Coates - Steroids Have Rotted My Brain
IFBB Bodybuilder, fitness and bikini model and Professional Wrestler~! Melissa Coates says that in her teen years she was a "terror on the tennis court" and thought about turning pro until she discovered bodybuilding.
If I had a nickel for every schmo-stroking, needle-plunging, gassed-up bodybuilder who swears they were going to be a doctor, football player, or king of the world, until they discovered lifting weights, I could outfit myself with GH for a year. I "discovered" weight-lifting in public school, but managed to avoid its siren song of homosexual sugar-daddies and heaps and heaps of drugs for some time. Till now in fact. I guess I didn't want it enough.
Here is Ms. Coates showing the form that lead her to a life of soft-core porn. Yup, definitely pro material. What a fucking goofball.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
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