Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Hit Two-Handers

There were two great things about today's ladies' chamionship at Wimbledon. They were:

No Hell Below Us, Above Us Only Sky

I had no idea that there is no heaven in the Old Testament. And that prayer (and John Edwards) is useless. Go figure. But I guess christians only take certain passages literally. Inconvenient passages like Ecclesiastes 9:5-6 are left out of mainstream Christian thought. Maybe it's too depressing for them.

Evolution 101 Podcast

Dr. Zach does a great podcast about evolution. He is molecular biologist with a knack for making his subject matter comprehensible to the layperson. I know a few economists who can do that, but not many scientists.

Regardless, check out the Evolution 101 Podcast and brush up on all that science you have forgotten.

Old Victories Made New

Because I can't resist rising to the bait of this anonymous shart, I will now highlight more past and pointless victories over people who have done far more with their lives than I. Should be a long list.

I once beat this guy 6-0, 6-0. In fact, he didn't get a point. But he may have been drinking; I was only 12, so it can be hard to judge. I beat his friend the same way in a different tournament in Kilworth, but I am sure he was drunk. Crazy Ford workers. Of course, I did lose to a used-car salesman with a hangover, so I guess it balances out. Stupid karma.

These are the memories that keep you warm on cold winter evenings.

OVERHEAD SMASH: Derrick Racine

I love the "Where are they now" stories. I remeber playing Derrick Racine in the quarterfinals of the U-14 Wallaceburg Open and owning his ass. He was intense. Well done Derek.

UPDATE: The four people that read this blog (infrequently) understand that this is a joke. If you don't get it, don't worry about it. Or be an ass and make a stupid comment like the shart you are.

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum

I was watching Agassi exit from Wimbledon the other day (goddanm manpris-wearing Nadal) and suddenly realised - I used to HATE Andre Agassi. Really, viscerally despise him. When he first came on the scene in 1986, I took an immediate dislike to everything about him. He was brash, confident, talented and cool. What was to like? Luckily he was a product of Bolletieri's tennis academy, which had produced such wunderkinds as Jimmy Arias and Carling Basset. So he was ripe for mocking. As well, Agassi's early rise to fame was on the sad and lonely U.S. clay court circuit, a summer tour of mooks playing for pennies and ATP points. As a result, Andre rose in the rankings without beating a single player ranked higher than him. On top of this, he refused to play Wimbledon, the hallowed ground of tennis. Agassi was a malingerer and a roue.

Then 1992 happened. Agassi took a look at his garage full of cars, and his tennis record, and saw the disconnect. He understood that your place in the game is built on Grand Slam titles and nothing else. Echoes of Ivan Lendl devoting the last years of his career to winning Wimbledon. Lendl new that not having that title would be a lasting mark on his career. Anyone doubting that should talk to Ken "The greatest player to never win Wimbledon" Rosewall.

Back to 1992. After a strong finish (QF) in 1991, Agassi beat Goran Ivanisevic in a five-set final - one I was sure he would lose due to the serving prowess of the Croatian. Even after his win I was skeptical. I actually thought his post match behaviour was planned and insincere. I hated that fucker.

But time and attitudes change. Agassi finally went to the Australian Open, and won there four times. He came back from back surgery, Brooke Shields, and the ignominious honour of playing qualifying tournaments. He was victorious twice at the U.S. Open, and once at the French, an honour not equalled by McEnroe or Connors. In fact, Agassi is tied for 6th on the all-time list of Grand Slam winners, just behind Bill Tilden and tied with Jimmy Connors, Ivan Lendl, Fred Perry and Ken Rosewall. As well, I will contend that without Agassi, Pete Sampras would not be the legend he is. Every great needs a great opponent - a George Foreman or Ken Frasier. Just ask Steffi Graf who beat up on the Washington Wizards after Seles was sidelined. Her place in the pantheon of immortals (what a silly phrase) is tainted by the lack of any real opposition.

Agassi also managed to be the oldest #2 at age 32 and the oldest #1 at age 33. As Mats Wilander said "He’s just played a Grand Slam final at 35, that tells me he wasted the first five years of his career, otherwise he couldn’t have lasted this long." And I have to agree. I hated his wasted years. I hated seeing someone do what I could not and blow it. But his rededication to the game and to his place as an all-time great has made my heart grow fond. What a funny thing.