Honky the Christmas Goose

Honky the Christmas Goose is the greatest Christmas song ever. The fact that it sung by Johnny Bower is simply a bonus. And you should have some inkling as to who he is, and why it is so absurd.

No? Alright then...click here and it will all become clear. And then come on over for hot chocolate. And bring your skates because the ice is ready.

We're Through Being Cool

Sit back, relax, and think of 1984. Not the book, but the year. Where were you? If Canada fits in your answer, then you remember short summers, with so much potential left unfulfilled. And which band better exemplified coming-up-short than Hollywood Suite? Maybe Cory Hart.

Sit back, click play, and enjoy the HYOOGE sunglasses. Goddamn I was uncool.

Razor Ruddock - Inventor!

Former boxing great Razor Ruddock: is now an inventor~! Not only did he invent The Smash, but now Razor is taking on the devastating problem of pay-per-bag garbage.

"The Boxer Compactor is a manually operated trash compactor that is affordable and easy to use. Unlike regular garbage cans, The Bettermaid Compactor contains a patented scissor mechanism* concealed under its lid. The scissor mechanism is designed to enable the user to deliver 14 times as much force to the garbage in the can than they normally would. This means that pulling back on the handle with 30 lbs of force will deliver a 400 lbs crushing force to the garbage! Thanks to modern Computer Aided Design (CAD) technology, The Bettermaid Compactor designers were able to develop a compactor which not only functions as designed, but also looks appealing to eye. "

Wow. CAD. Futuristical.

So much for all the nonsense about boxers and brain-damage. Actually, if you watch the nausea and epilepsy inducing television ad for the COMPACTOR~! then you will think otherwise. Especially the part where Razor's head is in the garbage, whispering "Fight back!" to the frightened housewife. Frankly, Razor's head in my garbage would scare me as well.