CBS Presents: Saturday Night Fights - Live Blogging!

MMA on network TV? Whodathunk? This is live blogging. And it is bound to be pedantic.

The first positive thing is that they have Mauro Ranallo and Frank Shamrock on the announce team. Mauro is a great play-by-play man who knows his mma and Frank is one of the pioneers of the sport.

Cheerleaders? Good christ, this isn't American Gladiators.

So far the venue looks low-end.

And here is the educate the public video clip. Par for the course when a new sport is shown to the public. But will they still call it cock-fighting after seeing this bit?

First fight is Jon Murphy vs Bret Rogers. A heavyweight battel! Sadly, like boxing, heavyweights in mma tend to be more large than they are talented.

The intros resemble Pride than they do to UFC.

Jon Murphy is ``a man of faith``. I hope Jesus is fit and ready to go three rounds.

True heavyweights. 260 lbs at weigh-in (meaning that they weigh about 275 now) and standing 6ft 3 in and 6ft 5in. Big fucking men.

No matter how big you are, your chin ain`t. You get hit on the chin, you are going down.

Terrible post-match interview. Low end.

Phil Baroni is up next. Let`s see if the Bad Boy is as ripped as he was pre-testing.

Phil knows how to play to a crowd. What a comical intro.

Well, Phil is certainly ``in shape``.

Phil off like a rocket as usual.

And Phil is gassed as usual.

And Phil got his ass kicked.

If there was any question, look at the way Phil shot on the ref at the end of the fight.

Carano and Young are up next.

Sheesh, interview Karyn Brant looks like a skeleton. There must have been a weight limit for on-air talent as well.

Carano has been busy with American Gladiators; has this affected her training?

This might be the first mma fight between two female competitors ever, but I could be wrong. Carano has everything to lose in this fight.

Carano's muy thai looks solid.

Young can take a punch.

Great guard by Carano. Well, Young is doing nothing.

10-9 Carano, but she is gassed.

Sloppy start to round two. Good knee by Young. Carano looks tired, but her technique is holding up. Young looks fresh and sloppy. Carano is tagging Young at will.

Great old-school front kick by Carano. And the hooks are in. Young is in trouble...saved by the bell. A front kick! Fucking right.

Kaitlin's face is hamburger...and the doctors stop it. Good stoppage.

Mauro just rattled off the names of several female fighters we have never heard of. The man is a sports geek supreme.

Kaitlin's face is hamburger...and the doctors stop it. Good stoppage.

God trained Gina and gave her the winner. Fucking homer. And Gina loves the fans, but not enough to love four pounds for them. Fatty.

Kimbo did nothing for himself in that interview. Hello CBS? Do you have a buck or two to prepare these guys for interviews? Or maybe you could do a better job at cashing in on Kimbo's internet celebrity.

Robbie Lawler vs. Scott Smith. My god I am fat.

Lawler should own him. Let's see.

Lawler stalking...very calm. Fans booing for some reason. Idiots.

Smith goes in, big flurry, they trade punches and kicks. Lawler content to jab. Smith going for home runs every punch. Lawler hurts Smith with a kick to the ribs. I suspect broken ribs...but Smith fights on. Smith saved by the bell.

I think Smith is done.

Round 2.

Lawler looking confident...and another body kick.

This crowd is more drunk than smart.

Great knees by Smith. Great flurry by Smith.

Smith is taking a lot of damage. Smith has a great jab, he should use it more.


Holy hell. That was a great round of fighting. And none of the technical ground work that so offends honshui. No way this goes five rounds as both men looked gassed.

Let's see who did the most cardio...

Lawler is establishing the jab in round three. Smith seems to be made of stone.

Ahh crap, thumb in the eye. Well, the crowd is booing, but I would rather not see a blind man get punched in the face for five minutes. A good stoppage. Unfortunate, but this is a sport and not a blood sport. The fighters must live to be bet on another day.

Kimbo and Thompson is next. On paper Thompson is the favourite, but Kimbo is so strong and unorthodox that I favour him.

And that is a manly beard on Kimbo. The bald man with the monk circle and ZZ Top beard is a hard look to pull off.

I am still amazed that a Youtube fighter has come this far. Of course, not losing has helped. As long as you don't count the Gannon fight.

Kimbo escaped the first round in my opinion, but look really strong in doing so.

Round 2

Kimbo is strong and fit. Thompson is in trouble. And Kimbo punches him into submission. Not a bad show, but the production value did not match that of the UFC.

Things That Fill Me With Joy

Should you ever be subjected to my delightful barbecued pork roast, you will find yourself serenaded by the music of Andy Williams. And not in an ironic way. Maybe it is a holdover from that variety show he had back in the 60s. It could be a longing for an era I barely knew, or it could just be the crazy fun to be found in this performance:



Or it could be the great voice.



Don't get me wrong, you are not going to hear Moon River. That song is dead to me. Dead! Do you hear me? Dead! But only because Andy has done so much better stuff. To be fair, he did do a fair bit of what we now consider schmaltz. But you have to admit that it would be nice to sit down to dinner dressed in a nice sport coat and tie, with your fine lady friend beside you in a pretty summer dress, some chilled white wine on the table, and have this playing in the background. Maybe add some chinese lanterns to the mix and that sounds like a fine date to me.



And tell me that after a few martinis, maybe a cosmopolitan or two, you wouldn't mind swinging to this funky funky tune?



As a side note, I would like to apologise to my daughter now for making her listen to so much Andy Williams. Hopefully there won't be too much long term damage.

Good For What Ails You

Since some people don't enjoy the tea-bagging they imagine happens in the UFC, may I offer up an alternative?

This Saturday night on CBS, he can enjoy EliteXC Saturday Night Fights. I bring this up because Gina Carano will be fighting.

Who is Gina Carano?


Here she is:



So here is your chance to watch some fighting without feeling funny in your pants. The rest of card is alright--anytime Kimbo fights is usually good for a laugh as he is so large and so violent. And make no mistake, Carano is for real. But a note to honshui: if any of the fighters come from Brazil, or have jiu-jitsu as their area of expertise, change the channel, 'cause lovin' and huggin' is coming to your tv.

Podcast Review :The Mouse Lounge

Week after week, Gary's Mouse Lounge podcast is the best multi-segment Disney podcast. And I believe it is one of the best multi-segment podcasts regardless of genre. Gary covers news from both U.S. parks, plays songs and audio from Disney television and movies, and provides live park audio. Every show is seamlessly and professionally edited with none of the falderal that comes from shows featuring water-cooler talk and unscripted blather. The result is more of a radio documentary quality show rather than a fan show. His recent effort to give each show more of a focus (Adventureland, or Fantasyland for example) has resulted in a more coherent mix of segments that have greatly improved the podcast. His recent addition of interviews with other podcasters has been surprisingly good. Usually these kinds of things are akin to watching a snake eat its tail, and just as dull. Fortunately Gary has an excellent interview style, and has picked some interviewees who are willing to talk about themselves in an entertaining fashion.


Listen to at least hear how podcasting can be done when "off-the-cuff" and "unedited" are removed as options.


Podcast
Subscribe on ITunes
Mouse Lounge forum

How Low Can I Go? How About Anus Burgers?

Whether it be the work of mischievous staff or clever vandals, I think we can expect to see more of this.

Speaking of Hockey...Tennis!

Well, the Stanley Cup is done for another year. Sure, they have a few more games to play, but it's over.

With that out of the way, we can get on to other sports, like tennis. The 2008 French Open has started with a drizzle. And sadly there is a lot more rain in the forecast (trivia note: Paris gets about the same amount of rain on annual basis as London England. As honshui says, marketing is everything). But there are some great matches in the offing.

I think Roger Federer looks to have an easy go of things until the semis where he should meet Nikolay Davydenko.

The other half of the men's draw should provide great action with potential quartefinal matchups of James Blake vs Djokovic, and David Nalbandian going against Rafael Nadal.

Tomorrow (the 28th), set your PVRs for the potentially great match between Nadia Petrova and Aravene Rezai. Though unknown to the general public, these two should put on a great show. Plus, the French crowd should be in full throat for the young frenchwoman, Rezai. Decorum goes out the window when a French national hits the terre battue.

If you are near a computer and bored, the live radio broadcast from Roland Garros is excellent. The on air talent sound like goof-balls, but they really know their tennis.

And by way of an olive branch to honshui, I offer these images to repair his much maligned orientation.

Is He Overcompensating? Perhaps A Touch

Co-blogger Honshui has been in a bit of a lather over the UFC. Poor, pearl-clutching honshui is mortified by the homo-eroticism, and blatant gayness of mixed martial arts. While these stinging rebukes, worthy of any middle-school playground, have hurt me deeply, I shall soldier on. Though perhaps 'shui would be better served going to his local mma gym and shouting "fag!" through an open doorway. That'll show'em.

But, let us take a moment to revel in the gayness, the raging homo-osity of his favourite sport: hockey. And note that while I am only a spectator of mma, hounshui is a consumer and participant of this, the fruitiest of sports, the one where 20 men gather in a public bath to drink beer, shower together, and revel in each other's manly company. Trêz Greek, no?







And one more that is Not Safe For Work or Honshui.

Lest my quivering friend find this all too too severe for his constitution, I will rebut myself (pun intended).

Yours for $299

I can't believe it! Canadian Tire has just returned to the realm of cool. I walked in on Saturday to buy a drill bit and what did I see? An old school mini-bike.

I wonder if the chain comes off on this one every time you hit a bump like in the 1970s?

Excess Goo

To any and all who are looking to purchase Wii Fit, I say, take a breath. Take it from the voice of experience (and a closet full of plastic that would put Fibber McGee to shame), keep it simple. Or you may end up with one of these:





Or one of these:






















Some of you may even have one of these:


How sad is that? I won't even bother discussing how many PSX, PS2, XBox, and XBox 360 controllers you might have laying about. And headsets. You don't want this for your life. Go for a run. But don't pay $90 to do push ups in front of the tv.

Why did I ever buy an Activator?

UFC 84 - Punchy Ouchy

For a change I went to a bar to catch the latest UFC ppv. And what a different experience a live crowd makes. Don't be mistaken, this was a great card, but after 11 years of watching it alone, it was nice to hear somebody else get excited.

And honshui, there wasn't a Speedo in sight.

And Crabby Joe's has a really good spinach and artichoke dip. Quien es mas macho now?

Tito Ortiz is the new Ken Shamrock.

Lyoto Machida brings mixed to MMA.

Vanderlei Silva is once again a very, very scary man.

Sean Sherk is unbelievably tough.

BJ Penn is better.

And a quick note to honshui, Penn and Sherk had a boxing match. An excellent boxing match. That is the fun of Mixed martial arts, you can have a variety of fight styles in one ppv. And with the little gloves, one big punch ends the fight.