Shorter Rev. Dr. Terry Ingram of the Oakridge Presbyterian Church:
Giving your kids information about different faiths is like giving them different mind-altering drugs. Information is bad. My weed is best. Humans run on God juice. Can't you see the logic? Happy Father's Day!
After wading through his tortured prose, terrible grammar and atrocious spelling, I know who to blame for their terrible announcement sign.
This week's sign : All God's kids need: "Our Dad".
Makes my head hurt.
Friday, June 20, 2008
In Which My Wife Reviews The London Free Press
My darling wife suggested we subscribe to the local paper, the London Free Press. But, she only wanted the weekend editions. For the flyers. Having been a long-time reader of the rag, I understood that sentiment exactly. And, like Sonny, I appreciate a good flyer, especially when meat is prominently featured.
As luck would have it, we have been receiving the paper everyday of the week, and not just the weekends. Darling wife suggested I call the Freeps and tell them to stop delivering the paper Mon-Thu.
I said "Why? It's free?"
"It's a waste."
So there you go Free Press. An intelligent professional, engaged with the world around her, thinks getting your paper for free is a waste of time. And paper.
As luck would have it, we have been receiving the paper everyday of the week, and not just the weekends. Darling wife suggested I call the Freeps and tell them to stop delivering the paper Mon-Thu.
I said "Why? It's free?"
"It's a waste."
So there you go Free Press. An intelligent professional, engaged with the world around her, thinks getting your paper for free is a waste of time. And paper.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Shiny New Thing!
Thanks to his wedding anniversary, the rev has clued me in to this cool new app. Just like the old embedded music players, but with a mix-tape skin. Ahh, mix-tapes. What tales we tried to weave with our mixes. Hours spent cueing up records, winding and rewinding the tape, hoping that your not subtle message would come through the music. Such fun.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Adam Daifallah : Still Wrong
Remember when natty Adam said:
Anyone still clinging to the tired myth that America is a racist country can no longer claim to be serious.
I guess he is going to have to include the Texas Republicans in that group. Via the Dallas Morning News comes the revelation that one of the vendors at the convention is selling an overtly racist button about Senator Obama. Normal, serious people would have caught this right away. Racists will chuckle to their buddies and let it pass. As it is still being sold, we can guess what the Republican think.
You have to give it Adam. He rails against historical revision on one hand, while doing his part to rewrite current affairs at the same time. Saves having to do it years down the road.
Update: And it looks like your revisions are getting some help from drug-addled Rush. Consider the racism a bonus. He is such a serious person.
Anyone still clinging to the tired myth that America is a racist country can no longer claim to be serious.
I guess he is going to have to include the Texas Republicans in that group. Via the Dallas Morning News comes the revelation that one of the vendors at the convention is selling an overtly racist button about Senator Obama. Normal, serious people would have caught this right away. Racists will chuckle to their buddies and let it pass. As it is still being sold, we can guess what the Republican think.
You have to give it Adam. He rails against historical revision on one hand, while doing his part to rewrite current affairs at the same time. Saves having to do it years down the road.
Update: And it looks like your revisions are getting some help from drug-addled Rush. Consider the racism a bonus. He is such a serious person.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Fun With Fuckwits
From the June 15 London Free Press Letters to the Editor:
At lunch one day we discussed the water bottle ban at a local restaurant. Stunningly, it was revealed that most restaurants in the city do not recycle because of the costs they have to pay to recycle. Why don't we focus on the true need in the city, which is recycling, not bans.
POSTED BY: Keith McDonald Director, Wealth McDonald Group Sr. Wealth Manager ScotiaMcLeod, london
Well done Keith. First off, you are fortunate that the Freeps staff saw fit to edit your letter quite extensively. Specifically, they removed all the parts that made you come off as a raging asshole. Sadly, I did not take a screen-shot of the original letter posted on their website. Live and learn.
So, here is some due diligence for Keith. The city of London does offer recycling. Or have you not noticed the blue boxes everywhere? And yes, it is too bad that restaurants aren't offered free recycling. Sometimes it sucks to be in business. But one would think that you would embrace the city's efforts to get people to consume drinking water that is 3000% cheaper than the bottled version.
Secondly, have you ever seen this symbol?
Notice how it has three parts? Those three parts are reduce, reuse, and then recycle. Do you understand how the city banning plastic water bottles at city-owned facilities is part of reducing? Have you ever looked past your Blackberry while walking around London? Have you been to a London summer festival and seen the mess left over? These bottle are a blight. Reducing their presence is a first and important step. Do you think the recycling trucks run on fairy dust? Wouldn't it be cheaper, and generate more wealth, to reduce and reuse as opposed to recycling? And does all of your research come from chatting up the waitress at Applebee’s Neighbourhood Bar & Grill at White Oaks Mall? 'Cause it sure sounds like that.
Fuckwit.
And to Tom "Won't someone think of the children's teeth" Gosnell; engage your brain fuckwit. Your concern is that banning plastic water bottle sales at locations and events owned or controlled by the city of London will drive children into the sweet and deadly embrace of sugar-laden pop.
Pop? That start with "P", and that rhymes with "T", and that stands for tooth decay!
So here are a few suggestions for Tom, and the other shrieking Hellen Lovejoys out there.
Buy one of these:
Or better yet, deep throat one of these until you come to your senses.
Can no one figure out how to use a fountain? Or how to use a toothbrush? Both will solve the problem of the attack of the killer sodas.
At lunch one day we discussed the water bottle ban at a local restaurant. Stunningly, it was revealed that most restaurants in the city do not recycle because of the costs they have to pay to recycle. Why don't we focus on the true need in the city, which is recycling, not bans.
POSTED BY: Keith McDonald Director, Wealth McDonald Group Sr. Wealth Manager ScotiaMcLeod, london
Well done Keith. First off, you are fortunate that the Freeps staff saw fit to edit your letter quite extensively. Specifically, they removed all the parts that made you come off as a raging asshole. Sadly, I did not take a screen-shot of the original letter posted on their website. Live and learn.
So, here is some due diligence for Keith. The city of London does offer recycling. Or have you not noticed the blue boxes everywhere? And yes, it is too bad that restaurants aren't offered free recycling. Sometimes it sucks to be in business. But one would think that you would embrace the city's efforts to get people to consume drinking water that is 3000% cheaper than the bottled version.
Secondly, have you ever seen this symbol?
Notice how it has three parts? Those three parts are reduce, reuse, and then recycle. Do you understand how the city banning plastic water bottles at city-owned facilities is part of reducing? Have you ever looked past your Blackberry while walking around London? Have you been to a London summer festival and seen the mess left over? These bottle are a blight. Reducing their presence is a first and important step. Do you think the recycling trucks run on fairy dust? Wouldn't it be cheaper, and generate more wealth, to reduce and reuse as opposed to recycling? And does all of your research come from chatting up the waitress at Applebee’s Neighbourhood Bar & Grill at White Oaks Mall? 'Cause it sure sounds like that.Fuckwit.
And to Tom "Won't someone think of the children's teeth" Gosnell; engage your brain fuckwit. Your concern is that banning plastic water bottle sales at locations and events owned or controlled by the city of London will drive children into the sweet and deadly embrace of sugar-laden pop.
Pop? That start with "P", and that rhymes with "T", and that stands for tooth decay!
So here are a few suggestions for Tom, and the other shrieking Hellen Lovejoys out there.
Buy one of these:
Or better yet, deep throat one of these until you come to your senses.
Can no one figure out how to use a fountain? Or how to use a toothbrush? Both will solve the problem of the attack of the killer sodas.
Teh Burning Stupid Comes To Barrie
City News reporter Cynthia Mulligan let's us know that "raging bugfuck stupid" is a synonym for "reasonable" at the Simcoe County School Board. Yup, any ol' shite tossed to you by a psychic at a local mall can be used to accuse someone of sexual abuse.
Well, I had a "vision" last night while I was sleeping. This vision informed me that an educational assistant at the Terry Fox School in Barrie is cheating on his/her taxes, eats glue in supply closet at the school, and is pilfering supplies from said closet. Surely an investigation into these made-up claims is a reasonable response. Think of the children. Won't anyone think of the children?
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