Saturday, December 27, 2008
"On this boxing day, when individuals used to give gifts to other individuals, maybe it's time we took individual action more seriously.
There are a host of Progressives in every walk of life willing to take your responsibility, and your freedom, away from you. Don't let them."
Please, for the love of whichever god you praise, don't help Frank. Don't take away his responsibility for his own life.
Think of the children.
On this happy note, I want your hurtin' songs. The ones you still can't listen to in front of the significant other. The ones you hate to hear when you can't afford cloudy eyes.
And you have to post it anonymously. No explanations, just song titles. We are Canadian after all.
So, as a start, here are two that cut my fucking heart out every time I hear them. You might have thought that enough time had passed. You'd be wrong.
Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.
Updated Pain: This isn't the original, but I think it's better and more painful than the original. Sorry.
Donovan playing "Try and Catch The Wind". Sorry that I couldn't find a good Dylan version.
Blue Rodeo and "Bad Timing". Thanks a fucking lot. That one is on my short list of "do not listen to" songs. Bastard. Well, to be fair, I sort of lived that entire album.
And here we have The Partridge Family with "I Think I Love You". Which, funny enough, was the song played immediately following my wedding vows. Oh yeah, my bride walked down the aisle (O.K., a gravel path--it was an outdoor hippy wedding beside a pond) to "Take A Chance on Me" by Abba.
Friday, December 26, 2008
To this end, I present some easy-to-learn magic tricks, courtesy of the famous Joseph Dunninger. The man who once said (most courageously) :
"There is one primary rule in the fakery of spirit mediumship. That is to concentrate upon persons who have suffered a bereavement."
With that in mind, let the lesson begin.
And there you have it. Simply acquire lycopodium powder, a custom celluloid lining for your sieve, and a large wooden ball with an electromagnet at its core. You shall not want for social engagements once word of your talents spreads.
Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the
girl half-breed prince
girl angry half-breed who has everything?
Look at this trove, treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here, you'd think
she's cranky pants got everything
I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
I've got who's-its and what's-its galore
You want thing-a-mabobs?
I've got twenty
But who cares? No big deal. I want
I wanna be where the people are
see kill 'em, wanna see 'em dancin' dyin'
walkin' around on those
Whaddya call 'em? Oh, feet with wings bitch
Flippin' your fins, you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumpin', dancin' and bangin' Sue
Strollin' along down the
What's that word again?
Up where they walk
Up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin' free, wish I could be
Part of that world Imperius Rex
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Seeping gas? How will our hero escape this thrilling predicament? Tune in for part three of...