When I Grow Up...

I want to be Sebastien Chabal.

Why?

Plus, he looks like Alan Moore. If Alan Moore ate steers whole, and ran through the Ardennes forest in search of wolves. Like there is anything wrong with that.





If you haven't yet, tune into the RBS Six Nations Rugby Tournament. Turns out that they were correct all along, rugby is better that football. If you aren't sure, look for the highlights of France v. Italy. The first try came from Chabal running over 3 men. No dekes, no fakes, just a man goddamned determined to make it to the end.

If only there was some way to tie this into comic books, my sad little life would be complete.

Waaaahh?


It's only nerdy if you own the book in question.

Oooh, look! A dog with a puffy tail!

It's Not Fun Unless You Measure It

The mystery of "moderate exercise" has been solved! No longer will this burning question plague those determined to pursue moderate activity, 5 times a week. The formula is simple, according to the globeandmail.com: 100 steps/60 seconds x 30 minutes = 1 workout.

"'It's a brisk walk,' Dr. Marshall said.

'It's as though you were late for a meeting or trying to get to the bathroom - that kind of pace. You are not running but you are certainly not strolling.'

He suggests using a pedometer and wristwatch to keep track of how many steps you take during the workout.

And if you don't have time for a full 30-minute jaunt, break it up into a series of 10-minute instalments. 'You can do three bouts of 10 minutes over the course of the day, and that would be equally beneficial for your health as one continuous 30-minute walk.'"

Adults love to quantify their fun, don't they? And you aren't having fun if you aren't decked out in the latest gear, so don't even bother getting on your beater of a bike just to take spin around the neighbourhood boyo. Helmet, lycra, gloves, bandolier of water bottles, backup water bottles, cell phone, banana, fancy shades...you are almost ready.

Barring that, you could just get you ass outside and move around. And leave the watch inside, O.K.?

Never Mind The Angst

I've been mulling over this idea for a blog post for a while now. It was to be about how, as a child, you perceive your adult life, based on what you knew from pop music. I had some whacked out theory boiling over about how those songs make you realise how far you've come in life, or stand as a sign posts of all you've gotten wrong. Then I said "Fuck it. Let's just watch David Hasselhoff lip synch to "Rhinestone Cowboy" on German tv."

And we're all better for it.

Garth Ennis is Very Saucy

Ennis is going to mock the massive comic events that we all know and love?

Awesome.

Qualifying Excellence in "Sports"

A few years ago, Jim Rome got a rant about the baseball hall of fame's justification for admitting a candidate who was good, but not obviously great. The criteria seemed to be that he was the best player who was not already in the Hall of Fame.

More recently, controversy broke out at the Tim Horton's Brier as to whether the Martin Rink from Alberta was the greatest curling team in Brier history. The curling establishment and fans lashed out -- yes, the Martin rink is fantastic but you can't call them the greatest, because... get this... they curl full time. Yes, that's right. Excellence in curling is not defined by the absolute level of your ability and record, but by a relative notion that it is the record and ability in the context of the time you can commit to the sport. As old timers favoring the great rinks of 1960s and 1970s pointed out, the Martin Team doesn't have to work at another career full-time to be part-time curlers. Nor, do they have to look after kids (like those dads in the 1960s and 1970s right?).
For example, Randy Ferbey suggested that he thinks it's a little premature to be talking all-time great with respect to the Martin rink:
"Whatever. I think when anybody puts a new team together, they don't know how good it's going to be. And everybody thinks potentially they're going to be the best ever. But I mean, get in line, Johnny, there's been a lot of great teams out there," he said. "Ed Werenich said it best: let's see if these kids can play when they have to make mortgage payments and deal with the kids at home. They have a long ways to go yet to be determined if they're the best."

I suppose that the other reason we should discount current curling teams as great is that they are "in shape, work out and aren't drunk while they play".

Finally, Martin Brodeur appears to be the most winning goalie of all time but some pundits claim he is not because he has wins in overtime and shootouts after the rule changes. Yeah, that makes him weak that he gets wins from 4 on 4 and guaranteed penalty shots.