This Ain't Your Daddy's Local Free Circular!

More like you great-grandfather's.

The racism is a nice touch though (look under horses). As is the tired-ass misogyny and sexism. I'm sure it's funny somewhere (Looking right at you Mt. Brydges). Still, I'm a little confused. Were there no flooring salesman available to write a column extolling the virtues of flooring? No advertorials on bogus Russian herbal remedies available for printing? Is this something the Forest City Connection had on hand when they needed to fill a page, or did somebody pay for this crazy bit of Farmer's Almanac comedy gold?

If, as they proclaim, "The Forest City Connection has gone from a dream to reality", then I suggest laying off the pizza and opium before bed.

Pwned!!!111lll!!!

Commenter Fugle tried to pwn the Jim Dandy blog with this nouveau-geek utterance:

"QQ."

Did you think I would let that kind of shit float free in the toilet bowl that is my blog? I'm not even going to give you a courtesy flush. What I am going to do is give you the dressing down you deserve.

Oh yeah. I went there. This is the deep end of the pool kiddies. I'm Kal-El and Fugle, you are Mon-El ; stuck in the Phantom Zone, voiceless, alone, and fearful of lead. Geek.

All The @#%ing Work You Need

A big thanks goes out to Herb for putting me on to the music of Dan Reeder. This one feels just about right for a very busy Thursday.




Dan also sings about beer, cowboys, surfing, and Elvis.

Quality Shit Kevin, Keep It Up

I guess I am old, because I can't for the life of me understand the popularity of anything on Revision3. Diggnation? Let's watch Kevin and spiky head guy talk about $60 teas and wacky videos as they sit behind their laptops. Hilarious? No. Unwatchable dreck. No wonder Rose is worth 60 million (which is probably not true, but feeds my anger).

Tekzilla? Of for the love of god will someone take Patrick Norton off tv, be it broadcast or internet. Hey Patrick, do your crazy "radio guy voice" again! Funny every time. By the way, Patrick liked punk way before you, and he wears hats. Respect! Oh, and Pat, could you tell Veronica to go "Grrrr" whilst shaking her fist a few more times per episode? Thanks, you're a peach.

How about this idea for a great show that will really spice up your network; send out an unfunny douchebag to accost strangers and to use their tolerance for rude behaviour as a medium for comic gold! Oh wait. You did. And it sucks.

Don't watch this. It is awful.




Digg, Diggnation, Albrecht, expensive teas...the whole thing is lost on me. The whole affair is well-shot Youtube videos. Take everything tv ever taught you about story, narrative, and throw it away. Then, put your plan into action.

• Put a lampshade your head, and an Apple sticker on your bare ass.

• Run through a farmers' market screaming your head off as Buddy and Jim viddy your crazed performance art from behind the potted ferns.

• Profit.

The world is fucked up when these dingbats are making bank. Revision 3 is the entertainment equivalent of chicken and chips from the Superstore. Readily available, belly-busting, but completely lacking in quality.

Just Helping A Brother Out

In the comments here, Anonymous (who can only be identified as H) felt that this blog was the place to air his moldy grievances about London, Ontario. Might I suggest a better forum for his bitter rants?

I might?

I will.

London Free Press: : Letters to the Editors:

Here Herb H will find comfort with similar minded folk, like the easily fooled Ivan Kasiurak:

"...please don't forget that when the Twin Trade Towers were hit, the firefighters and rescue workers went to Starbucks because it was close by for water for the survivors and workers, and Starbucks CHARGED THEM! "

The ever amusing, Clinton Jones:

"this small minded, special interest only council, just found a new way to raise our taxes by listening to an unelected Jay (single issue)Stanford and saving $200,000 by changing to paper green bags. I'm a dummy by listen to these people in the past"

The confused and enraged Dena Ellis:

"I would like to know what kind of society we live in today, I work 40hrs a week at a job that barely pays my bills, have gone to school to get an education and pay student loans like thousands of Canadians but I was completley shocked to come out to my car after working all day only to find that someone had smashed the window in my car."

And the ever ethical, Steve Nicks, always ready to shake us to our boots with his rapier-like logic:

"You don't support the war but support the soldiers? Thats like say you don't support the crime but you support the criminal! Soldiers are the ones who pull the triggers that kill the masses, how do you support those criminals?"

I just want to make sure that you have a venue big enough to hold your disgust for London. And I think this blog is too small to hold it all. Plus, you get to shout into a receptive echo chamber of antipathy, whereas here the response will always be, "Meh". We're just too busy to bother hating home.

It's not a hand out, it's a hand up. You will always be welcome here, no matter how big you get, or how angry you get. Think of it as a safe place. Like a bird's nest, or a tropical beach, or the barrel of a shotgun.

Catching Up With the Spaceman

Gary Bell, the Spaceman, is finally back on the air after a few weeks for doing research. Here are some highlights from his latest show.


Bruno and the Geico gekko are going to make men obsolete! Parthenogenesis bitches! Also. Asteroids! Comets! Or meteors. [He can't really decide.] Besides which, there were no dinosaurs. Did you know that they don't display the actual dinosaur bones in museums? Proves it.

And science caused slavery in the Americas and the British Colonies. Also. Panspermia. 1+7=8. Osiris=St. Patrick. 17 was the age at which Harry Potter joined the wizard university. 17 appears in a lot of songs. [Which is getting us ready for something. Something beyond compare.]

The "Green movement" is actually a hidden way to make you worship Osiris, just like you do on St. Patrick's Day. [Does it really work if nobody knows they are worshipping him? Never mind.] And the Apollo missions, which didn't happen, are a tribute to Osiris. [Maybe they could have just lit a candle, it would have been much cheaper.]

And on and on and on. Makes my head hurt. But, I listen so you don't have to.

Did you get that Herb? I said DON'T LISTEN TO THE SHOW.

Just so there is no confusion and whining.

Welcome Back!

Let's all welcome Herb back from his 40 days in the wilderness with some Jim Dandy Goodness.

Back here, apropos of the burgeoning financial crisis, our man in the ivory tower had this to say about anyone caught with their financial pants down:


"Sure things are a mess, but pointing at the other guys and the guy in charge when you were part of the party is a bit disingenuous don't you think? ...This cluster fuck comes right down to the man in the street with his snout in the trough of cheap credit. Or was it that someone forced them to lease cars that they couldn't afford, to borrow to take those mid-winter mexico vacations, to over-purchase on their houses... People could have made different choices but they did not. They gambled and they lost and now they want someone else to hang because they were allowed to gamble." [Emphasis mine]


Apropos of the movie Nick and Norah's Humdinger of a Playlist not being called shit on this blog, Herb jumped into his own ass and reversed himself thusly:


"I realized I had been duped...Tricking me into watching a Michael Cera movie crosses a serious line because it took precious free time and wasted it unnecessarily. That is 90 minutes of my life I will never get back....I would rather read, if not watch on TV, Michael Coren than put my trust in a blog that would even consider it ethical and cool to trick someone into watching "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist".

So let's recap. If you were told, by an expert, that you were making good financial choices, and got burned, "Fuck you dummy".

If you rent a movie based on my opinion, and you don't like it, "I'm taking my ball and going home!"

Economist, graph thyself.

Regardless, good to have you back Yosemite. Rage on.

It's Not Me, It's You

Oh dear. Some economists at the University of Calgary at upset that an Alberta economics council has no economists in it's roster.

AB economic council without economists

Says the author, Aidan Hollis:

"Twelve members, of whom one is an economist. Presumably the idea is that anyone is an expert in economics. Either that, or economists have not much to add."

Ahh, so they do have one economist on the panel. Sort of blows the whole point of the title with that little fact. So, let's look at the roster.

Umm, Aidan? There are two people with PhDs in economics. Now, it might be fun to mock Aidan's ability to do arithmetic, but I will pass on that low hanging fruit and ask Aidan, "Is Dodge is the economist, or is Emerson?" And what discounts the other? More importantly, as economists are so eager to proffer their opinions in unrelated disciplines and discussions of policy, why is the author upset that others are doing the same thing? Yes, this is a gross generalization. But it reads better than "neener neener" and this is just a blog.

As for the number of Albertans on the panel, doesn't a free-market mind set look for the best and the brightest, and not just the closest? The University of Calgary and University of Alberta might be home to the best and the brightest. But maybe there are smart people in the old world from whom you can learn. Or it could be that, much as Galbraith posited that the worst farmers headed west because they couldn't make a go of it in Ontario, the same could be true for academics out west.

I kid because I love.

As for academics, from Alberta, who are economists, how deep is that pool?

I'll leave the last word to Aidan.

"If you're so smart, why are you at a university in Alberta?"