Saturday, July 10, 2010
Seriously, what a zoo. Doesn't anyone in London have a home? I do, and I wanted to be in it, but somebody thought it would be a good idea to go and do something. Nothing good can come from leaving my suburban cocoon to gaze upon overly-stretched back tats and genetic deformations that cry out for a merciful god.
Nothing good that is until you find out that your wee daughter likes reggae. Good reggae. Lazo was playing and besides being a charismatic performer, his band is excellent. All the cares and heat slipped away as my girl, perched high on my shoulders (not really that high) tapped out a beat on my cabeza (look at me gettin' all ethnic and stuff). I had to work really hard to not dance as nobody my age and size should dance.
Note to the old fat ladies up front, stop. Just stop. Those days are done.
If you stayed home, or are silly enough to live somewhere else (don't come here, it sucks--bugs, tornadoes, cane toads, no fresh food and more traffic than you have ever seen), here is a little sampler from Lazo. Never as good as live, but just imagine this with a desperate cougar grinding away right beside some little people just bopping about having a good time. Do you have the image? Nice, isn't it. Welcome to London. We're dull.
And thanks to Crazy Legs, I won the pool with "the wife" as to who would meet a friend first. I poked him in the shoulder as he tried to avoid my gaze and usher his delightful wife "D" and strapping son "B" to safety. But I was not to be swayed. Awkward Chat Achievement! I let him go before he started to nom nom his arm.
Mormon Missionary: "Hi, we're here to spread the word of the Book of Mormon and tell you how it can strengthen your faith in Jesus Christ."
Me: "I have no faith in Jesus Christ."
Me: "I'm an atheist."
MM: "Why is that? Is it through personal experience?" Note: this is a standard ploy, used under the assumption that atheists are lapsed christianists with an ax to grind.
Me: "Through rational thought. There is no subjective or objective evidence for an invisible sky being."
MM: "Rational thought? OK, um, do you know anyone else who would like to hear the word of the Book of Mormon?"
MM: "Alright then."
Me: "Stay cool out there."
I guess the LDS Church just sends the shitty ones to my neighbourhood. I never even got the chance to make fun of the gold tablets in the hat or the Book of Abraham. Weak sauce Elders, weak sauce.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
GG's hubby Queen-hater? | Canada | News | Toronto Sun :
Even though Lafond and his wife Gov. Gen. Michaelle Jean were out of the country on a state visit to China when the Queen arrived in the capital on June 30, Lafond asked that the Queen and her husband, Prince Philip, find somewhere else to stay.
It was a bizarre request that raised more than a few eyebrows in official Ottawa, partly because Rideau Hall is, for all intents and purposes, the property of the Queen.
Questions: Who leaked this information? Is stabbing the GG in the back worth putting a sour topping on a fine visit with the Queen? Is His Excellency really so stupid as to not know that he is a guest in the Queen's home? And why can't the QMI Agency come up with any sources? Could it be that the Sun chain is really just a gossip rag with low-rent Page 3 girls?
Could I ask more obvious questions?
Questions, always questions.