The Sandman

Hang on to your hats!

Ooohhhh, So That's Why You're Stupid. My Bad

I have always been confused by the fucktarded anti-science stance of the Creation Museum in Kentucky. Sure it's funny, but when you posit that people lived contemporaneously with dinosaurs, you come off looking like a complete fucking moron.

Really. Take a look at this exhibit.


You have to point and laugh. You really do. And you have to ask yourself, how did Kent Hovind come up with such ludicrous ideas? Surely the bible isn't that powerful? Surely it isn't. As always, with any social disruption, comics are to blame. Don't believe me? Here's the ad from Justice League of America, vol. 14, No. 107, Sept. 1973. Judge for yourself where Kent derived his crazy ideas.



Aurora and DC have a lot of explaining to do.

Hasselhof Has Nothing On Cassidy

Hassle the Hof? Forget it. David Cassidy will fuck up your shit, stick you in a closet, go home with blue balls, and still make the recording studio in time to lay down some fresh tracks. Take that Burger Meister.

Great Moments With Wonder Woman

It's fun that this book from 1974 can now be pulled from the box and enjoyed so much more cynically than it was when I was eight.

Evidently Diana's mom is a Real Doll. Nope, sorry, Real Dolls have more facial features. As for the subtext, do I have to?

Here, Wonder Woman's attackers in no way look like sperm, penises, or Rohypnol infused syringes.

Solo work? With those eyes and that mouth, I think we all know...never mind.

How every Beta Zeta Sigma kegger ends.

But it all works out in the end as Wonder Woman buys a whole city of life-size Sea Monkeys.


And in the best "After School Special Fashion", Hippolyta gives us one to grow on. While going pantsless. Strippers really do make the best moms.

No, No, No, No, No

Forget the buzz, forget the groundswell of cool, Frozen is bad.



This is Hallmark quality bad. Save your street cred for stuff that matters. This doesn't. I mean really, wolf packs? No Ski Patrol? Badly acted words. Badly written words that are badly acted. No. Bad dog. No.

Oh yeah, only the girl survives.

Spoilers!

You would thank me if you had watched the movie.

Where Have All The Unicorns Gone?

Never stop beating the horse.

The happy fun-time unicorn said:

"I'm sorry for you. I’m sorry that you can’t dream big. I'm sorry you don't believe in miracles."


And then, big bad Gargamel stepped on the candy-coated fairytale.




Guys like Armstrong (I mean guys on drugs) always play the "I train harder than anyone" card. Always. Here's Lance training hard. Bad form and a criminal lack of footwear aside, yes, he is training hard. As hard as anyone in any gym in North America. As hard as any pro athlete (maybe not) in the world. Get a grip Lance, it's not about training. We all train hard. It's about genetics and drugs. Read any bodybuilding magazine in the last 20 years and you will hear this excuse for having a better tolerance for performance enhancing drugs from every mook who stained his peach-coloured posing trunks with baby oil.
This guy


will swear up and down that he trains longer and harder than this guy:


You don't buy it. You shouldn't.

Live strong.