Imagine London Is On A River, Can't Do It, Can You?

Jim Chapman's song, "London, the City of Opportunity" is going to be a rich vein of comedy and self-mockery for a long time to come.

Consider the first verse:

"Imagine a city where the river runs through it"

Imagine indeed. Have you ever seen a city so completely ignore the fact that it is built on the forks of a good-sized river? Anyone who as been to Saskatoon, or Chicago, or even Mitchell, Ontario, can see how a city can use a river to its benefit, esthetically and commercially. Here in London we pollute it, then set up a big sprinkler to make it pretty, let it run dry because we can't afford proper parts for the dam, and then just block it from view.

Take a look at Oxford St. West (just past the Hunt Club). This bridge passes over a particularly pretty section of the Thames River. You'd never know unless you are walking, biking, or in your 24' UHaul, haulin' ass outta Dodge for somewhere better. The other side of the road is just as funny as it has a decorative rail, then a walking path, and then the ugly concrete barrier to keep you from seeing the river. I think the concrete barrier is sort of a anti-suicide Maginot Line. They know that nobody walks and only happy rich people bike, so the barrier keeps the rest of us from driving off the edge in a fit of desperation. Regardless, this ugly grey scar is a failure of design, esthetics, and imagination.

London is the city of opportunity.

I'm going to die in this fucking town, aren't I? When exactly did I become Walter Donovan?