Like this:
What you really end up with is this:
Sure, it's cute, but it's still just a frog. The essential nature of the frog hasn't changed, and after an initial "Oh hey, a frog in a hat" wears off, we're on to better, and infinitely more interesting things. On the plus side, it didn't cost you tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars to raise and train the frog to wear a hat, to find out that only the most rabid, rich, and bored, fans of frogs will enjoy frogs in hats.
This brings us to dressage (if I had a nickel...). All the horsey people who do dressage (yes, I know a few too many) say that dressage is super hard. You don't know guys, it's so hard, OMG!
Don't care. Dressage is boring for everyone and we all know it. Even the horsey dressage people know it. How do we know this? Because all the horsey-dressage people love this:
If you turn down the volume, it's a video of a horse doing fancy walking. Which is dressage. Next to buying corn futures, it's the most expensive way to be bored known to mankind.
If what you pursue as a hobby is so dull that you have to dress it up with lights, mirrors, wigs and dance tunes, maybe you should pursue amateur cabaret.
Look what bored people have done to canoeing:
This is worse than dragon boat racing. Fucking dragon boats, just go paddle you team-building ding-dongs.
All I'm saying is that you should enjoy your dull sport the way it is. Look at tennis. Hit ball, repeat. Love it. Here is a video of some "crazy" moments from tennis. Mostly they are ungodly dull.
Mis-hits! Broken strings! Wobba-wubba-woo! This is the most true depiction of tennis ever made. This is why it doesn't sell and people don't play anymore (except for diehards like me and Anonymous). They've moved on to more exciting things.
Not everything needs to be popular. Not everything needs to be EXTREME! and taken from reasonable to dangerous in order to score ratings. Not every frog needs a hat.
These last three posts are vintage JDG gold!
ReplyDeleteI'm breathless after reading that.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter has announced she's taking dressage lessons. Hold me.
Thanks Fugsy, that's high praise coming from you.
ReplyDeleteDoes that come across as sarcastic? This font looks sarcastic to me.
CL,
I was wondering if your DD was into dressage. I've been told by riders that jumping a horse is way harder than racing a car (what with the squatting and no G-forces) so I'm guessing that the scale will go to 11 with dressage. I'm guessing "Like running a marathon", "Like climbing a mountain", or "Like climbing a mountain in 1972 CCM skates".
I'll buy you coffee the next time we meet up; evidently you are going to be broke.
I heartily agree that not everything needs to be X-TREME!! to be interesting, however, I still like my idea for X-TREME!! GOLF!!
ReplyDeleteIt is basically the same as regular golf - same rules, same equipment, same skills. But to make it more "exciting" and XXXTREEEME!!!1! I propose adding roughly 100 of these bad boys to the course.
As usual I am at odds with the kids in the hall at jimdandy goodness. That canoeing is actually pretty interesting. The guy's control of the boat while dressed like a pirate is amazing. The sideways draw like the moon walk is not an easy manoeuvre.
ReplyDeleteI am not a horsey guy but the canoeing is pretty neat though I prefer it with standing waves and obstacles. If you want to see some poetry in canoeing check out some clips of bill mason in his ol' chestnut.
Please do not make fun of the looney toons cartoon of the singing frog. In my mind that was the highpoint of the animation genre.
As usual I am at odds with the kids in the hall at jimdandy goodness. That canoeing is actually pretty interesting. The guy's control of the boat while dressed like a pirate is amazing. The sideways draw like the moon walk is not an easy manoeuvre.
ReplyDeleteI am not a horsey guy but the canoeing is pretty neat though I prefer it with standing waves and obstacles. If you want to see some poetry in canoeing check out some clips of bill mason in his ol' chestnut.
Please do not make fun of the looney toons cartoon of the singing frog. In my mind that was the highpoint of the animation genre.
I'm not sure with whom you are at odds. I think you didn't read the post, but assumed snark on my part and looked at pictures.
ReplyDeleteThe canoeing pirate is amazing. Equally amazing would be the same guy, dressed normally, with no music, doing the same moves. I'm a huge fan of paddling and of doing fancy moves whenever possible. It doesn't need a hat.
I should see some Bill Mason? WTF? That's like asking a Canadian kid if he's tried that ice hockey that's all the rage. Or breathing.
Lastly, in which part of the post do I make fun of Michigan J. Frog? My love of Chuck Jones would not allow such a thing.