Friday, December 21, 2012

NRA: Video Games Bad, NRA Videos Games Worse, Sort of

From today's sales pitch by loathsome NRA weasel Wayne LaPierre:

There exists in this country, sadly, a callous, corrupt and corrupting shadow industry that sells and stows violence against its own people. Through vicious, violent video games with names like “Bullet Storm,” “Grand Theft Auto,” “Mortal Combat,” and “Splatterhouse.”

Let's forget that Mortal Kombat teaches you how to shoot electric bolts from your fingers and rip out spines, and not how to shoot guns. Let's also forget and ignore that neither version of Splatterhouse featured guns, or was played by anyone, ever. Let's focus on on two things.

  1. These are games. Imaginary constructs. 
  2. These are not meant for children.

Luckily, parents who want to give their children a taste fer virtual shootin' can rely on...the NRA.

This game is rated E for Everyone! Smiley face! It's hours of realistic (sort of) shooting practice. This is the type of disassociated firearm experience the NRA usually decries. But it promotes gun sales, so it's good.



Once Junior is bored of shooting targets (five minutes after starting the game) you can get him (or her, but really it's him) into killing animals with the NRA Varmint Hunter!



I'm sure the NRA doesn't think that their games promote "a callous, corrupt and corrupting shadow industry that sells and stows violence against its own people.", do they?

Who is "a callous, corrupt and corrupting shadow industry that sells and stows violence against its own people." Why it's the gun manufacturers silly. More than the video games world ever was or will be.

 With the help of the NRA, they even made a game out of stowing violence against its own peopl. But unlike video games, they use real bullets, real guns, and pretend to shoot real people. And it's in 3D!



The NRA, they make killing fun. They make killing second-nature. You can pay them to teach you. These people are not target shooting for fun and profit. They are not hunting or competing. They are not collecting.

 They are learning how to kill.

 Halo cannot teach you this.



Video games don't kill people, guns do. You don't need a gun anymore than you need a trebuchet or a giant rod shoved through your penis. Or a small rod. Or anything for that matter. Look, stop sticking things into your penis. Freak.

2 comments:

  1. That is so unfair; I've been working on the whole lightning-from-the-fingers thing for years. I should have just visited a US Walmart and bought a not-exactly-hunting- appropriate rifle, with large capacity mag.

    What the hell do you mean that deer, moose, squirels, 'coons have rarely been caught packing? Ever hear of natural selection and evolution, man?

    Darwinism baby, if you're not evolving you better have a quazi-assault weapon on you. Just in case.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous2:14 PM

    Shit, i just bought my 8 year old one of those deer hunting games for the wii...

    ReplyDelete