"Imagine a store!"
Sometimes the provincial and parochial nature of London is disheartening and not cute. Today is several of them.
London has a jingle! It's happy! It's peppy! It's bursting with love!* It's sung by Jim Chapman. More to the point, Jim Chapman and the Incontinentals. Not surprisingly, Jim and the Boys favour music from the 50s and 60s, much the same way Jim favours outdated political ideology and longs for the days of white privilege, when kids knew their place, when dogs didn't bark, and you could leave you Nash Rambler unlocked while you filled out your liquor order form at the LCBO. Good times.
Anyway, London developer and ever present force of dyspepsia, Shmul Farhi, who evidently lets Jim sleep under his desk, must have once again threatened to pull out of London and let it crash under the weight of his absence unless they let Jim and his band perform the song. Seriously, no other explanation makes any sense, especially in a town so full of musical talent as London.
I think we can offset the happy joy joy song best with a cover from Jim and the Incontinentals. It's souless and depressing and devoid of originality. Like the real London and it's jingle.
*Did you get the reference? Please tell me you got the reference.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Why Do You Want Lye In Your Coffee?
Jymn from the Let Freedom Reign blog lets us know about John Castle, who found the service at his dinner club so offensive, that he broke the waiter's fingers. John Castle is
Mr. Castle felt the waiter needed a broken finger to pay for the offense of bringing the cheque to the table at the request of Mrs. Castle. Evidently bringing the cheque, or listening to that stupid bitch (I assume that's how Mr. Castle talks), are two things one is not allowed to do around Mr. Castle if one wishes to remain unbroken.
Mr. Castle has obviously not seen The Pope of Greenwich Village and learned of the payback he is destined to suffer, or his system is so decayed and rotted from the all the sperm and saliva he has ingested over the years that nothing save a bowl of Grape Nuts With HIV Infected Razor Blades (tm.) can affect his morning constitutional.
Of course, there are worse things than a bit of horse laxative. Like lye in your coffee. But that would be uncivil and will not be condoned on this blog.
"the chairman and CEO of Castle Harlan, a private equity firm. Before that, he was CEO of the investment banking firm Donaldson, Lufkin & Jenrette. His is a positively Romney-esque tale of the value of raiding companies to extract value—his business acumen has subsidized a lifestyle that included purchasing the Kennedy family's Palm Beach, Fla., compound in in 1995 and hosting magnificently lavish weddings there for his children, complete with Trader Vic's catering and Mar-a-Lago luncheons."
Mr. Castle felt the waiter needed a broken finger to pay for the offense of bringing the cheque to the table at the request of Mrs. Castle. Evidently bringing the cheque, or listening to that stupid bitch (I assume that's how Mr. Castle talks), are two things one is not allowed to do around Mr. Castle if one wishes to remain unbroken.
Mr. Castle has obviously not seen The Pope of Greenwich Village and learned of the payback he is destined to suffer, or his system is so decayed and rotted from the all the sperm and saliva he has ingested over the years that nothing save a bowl of Grape Nuts With HIV Infected Razor Blades (tm.) can affect his morning constitutional.
Of course, there are worse things than a bit of horse laxative. Like lye in your coffee. But that would be uncivil and will not be condoned on this blog.
Sunday, January 08, 2012
The Dumbest Person in the World, Today
But he's functionally moronic.
Daniel Dickin, mall cop, McDonald's assistant manager, and of course, political pundit, has this shocking revelation:
"Now I have another extremist alert for you: it's the Ottawa Citizen's Dan Gardner claiming that Prime Minister Stephen Harper uses heroin! It's right there, in black and white: "The key to understanding Stephen Harper’s federalism is heroin.""
Wow. Dan Gardner is an extremist who is "...bordering if not violently vaulting into libel territory". Heady stuff if true.
Daniel, a conservative blogger, is full of shit.
Here is Dan Gardner's Ottawa Citizen article. It's all about how dealing with heroin, more specifically the heroin problem in East Vancouver, and the Insite treatment facility, are indicative of Prime Minister Harper's strategy of centralised control, contrary to his stated preference for decentralised control. Don't believe me, read if for yourself. Dan didn't, or didn't get it. Either option is equally valid when it comes to the guy who thinks Noah Richler accused Vic Toews of being a pedophile.
Daniel Dickin, blogger, pundit, and a man who has reached a "...position [that] was the pinnacle of business development, planning, and execution." We would do well to heed his words, because they are bound to be just as funny for years to come. Derp, herp, derp derp.
Daniel Dickin, mall cop, McDonald's assistant manager, and of course, political pundit, has this shocking revelation:
"Now I have another extremist alert for you: it's the Ottawa Citizen's Dan Gardner claiming that Prime Minister Stephen Harper uses heroin! It's right there, in black and white: "The key to understanding Stephen Harper’s federalism is heroin.""
Wow. Dan Gardner is an extremist who is "...bordering if not violently vaulting into libel territory". Heady stuff if true.
Daniel, a conservative blogger, is full of shit.
Here is Dan Gardner's Ottawa Citizen article. It's all about how dealing with heroin, more specifically the heroin problem in East Vancouver, and the Insite treatment facility, are indicative of Prime Minister Harper's strategy of centralised control, contrary to his stated preference for decentralised control. Don't believe me, read if for yourself. Dan didn't, or didn't get it. Either option is equally valid when it comes to the guy who thinks Noah Richler accused Vic Toews of being a pedophile.
Daniel Dickin, blogger, pundit, and a man who has reached a "...position [that] was the pinnacle of business development, planning, and execution." We would do well to heed his words, because they are bound to be just as funny for years to come. Derp, herp, derp derp.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)