Civic Pride, London Gots It!

We have a river, we have a university, and we have rioting youth. London has a world-class pedigree.

 Imagine all the things you can burn in London, the city of opportunity!








H/t to our favourite anonymous commenter for letting me know about the video.

Too Soon Old, And Not Too Schmart

After Youtube, the Globe and Mail hosts some of the dumbest commenters this side of Alderbaran. It's not just that most of them are dumb, it's that they combine faux-wisdom, sanctimony, and fucktardia, all in one toxic brew. These guys (the worst ones self identify as successful white males) are the fruit that hangs lower than an octogenarian's dingleberries. So let's make fun of one of them, all in the hopes that one day, he'll google his username and end up here, to be filled with rage.

 I have dreams. Don't laugh.

 On the subject of the federal budget to be released tomorrow, Stringer46 gets all chest puffy and John Galty on the younger generation:

The majority of boomers, that I know anyway, like me, do not need or want handouts from the government. We worked hard all our lives and are now retiring with the residue of our life's earnings. We are not and do not want to be supported by the younger people. 

That is some good stuff. What Fugle might call weapons-grade stupidity.

I'm sure that you, like me, have heard this your whole damn life from the Boomers. You've heard how hard they work and how they've done it alone, no help from nobody nohow never nuh uh. You've heard about how spoiled you are and how you don't know the value of a dollar or hard work. Every generation says this kind of stuff to their kids. But it seems to me that the Boomers I meet are convinced that their success is completely self-made. They completely ignore that they might be the most pampered, most coddled generation ever.

This is something I point out to my relatives. I remind them of the family members who had severe medical problems that required extensive hospital time that didn't cost them a cent. Some are chronically sick and thankfully don't have to go bankrupt. I point out that their children, like me, went to school when there were no user fees and buses available all the time for sports and trips home. I point out that they incurred minimal cost for their children's university tuition ($1500/year when I was going through in the second half of the 80s) so that they could keep all their hard earned money. I point to the roads, doctors, schools, phone systems, and the eleventy-hundred other things that the Canadian government, by way of taxpayers, has provided them so that they could be battle-scarred individualists.

Of course it doesn't sink in; it never does. That's what makes them adorable.

Awesome Guy is Awesome. So What's Your Excuse?

Do not stare directly into The Awesome. Do not mock The Awesome or his synthetic counter tops of doom, which are both functional and affordable, will rain shame and death upon you!

Trevor is simply better, fitter, more radical, and richer than you are. Unlike you, he can get by with one cell phone and that frees him up to make organic chicken fritatas for his family.  Did you know that he rides a bike, something he says is akin to being a unicorn? Check this out, Trevor has basic cable and internet. Basic fucking cable? Hard core. Man.

Trevor has it all, by having less. Unlike you fat fucking consumers.