Saturday, January 26, 2013

Starcrossed -- James Spader Never Played a Better Mechanic

From 1985, Starcrossed is "Starman" meets every damsel in distress movie meets every set of stairs on Queen St. Starcrossed stars James Spader, who does an amazing job with really substandard material. Belinda Bauer does a great job as the largely silent alien. I guess. She doesn't say or do much. Which I think is the role, but it's hard to tell. She looks tired. Probably due to all the stair climbing. The 1980s do stand up work at reminding us why the decade doesn't need to come back.

The title credits start at 4:30. Don't miss them.

With some weird cuts, truly comical government bad guys, effects made of camembert, and Spader and Bauer climbing up and down stairs, Starcrossed is delightful. Just fast forward through some of the slow bits (like the planetarium) and focus on the action. And the clich├ęs. Like the one a 1:30 of this scene.

Teach me your ways. If I had a nickel...

Netflix or Youtube, watch it, but only on a weekend evening when you have nothing else to do. Just like back in 1985.


  1. Wow, you just took me back. I loved young Spader. Fuck, we're old.

  2. 1985 doesn't sound so far away, until you do the arithmetic, and think about what you were doing that and...balls.

    Did you catch Spader on The Office? He's still fantastic.

    1. He is. But the alcoholic,puffy fatness makes me sad. Stupid time, stupid marching on...